Dot Field celebrates life and vaccination after serious COVID-19 illness

Dot shares her story in her own words:
Mid-June 2021 is a time of my life that I will remember forever. My world crashed when my biggest fear was realised.

Not only did I contract the dreaded virus that causes COVID-19 disease, but so too did my 88-year-old mother and my sister who lives with type 1 diabetes. The three of us tested positive on the same day.

"I was devastated to have contracted COVID-19"

I asked myself repeatedly, "How did this happen?" I was addicted to hand sanitiser, constantly spraying myself and offering sanitiser to others in an almost obsessive manner. I also always wore a face mask and never sat inside a restaurant or poorly ventilated area or allowed myself to be close to anyone who wasn't part of my household. I was devastated to have contracted COVID-19.

I had not yet received a COVID-19 vaccine as, at the time, I was younger than the 60-year-old threshold for vaccination in the national rollout.

Thankfully, my mother had received her first COVID-19 vaccine dose. And although she became very ill, she did not require hospitalisation. My sister, under 60 years of age and unvaccinated, also recovered well.

"I was terrified"

While I tried to manage the impact of the virus on my healthy, though slightly overweight, body, I went downhill quickly. As a Discovery Health Medical Scheme (DHMS) member, I was extremely grateful to qualify for Discovery's Hospital at Home benefit, which was suggested to me by DHMS and motivated for by my GP. This allowed me to access hospital-level care in the comfort of my own home. I was monitored remotely on an hourly basis. When home-based oxygen no longer worked sufficiently well for me a doctor, sent by DHMS and who kindly did a house call, told my husband Julian to "get Dot to hospital immediately. She is still saveable."

Three of my friends had lost their husbands to COVID-19 in the weeks prior (I had not been able to see any of them during this difficult time due to COVID-19) and all the hospitals were full owing to the third wave of COVID-19 infection that had taken hold in South Africa. I was terrified.

"We've got you, we've got you"

Strangely I'd had a premonition several months earlier that something was going to happen. As a result, I updated my will, gave Julian power of attorney, and always carried a list of emergency and medical details on me. I even had a 'go bag' stored in the bottom of the cupboard.

In a haze and with perilously low oxygen levels, I was rushed off to hospital and placed on high-flow oxygen in the emergency section. How I got a bed in the COVID ICU I do not know, as the hospital was full. I put it to God's grace, that at 23:00 that night, I was whisked off to the COVID ICU.

I vividly remember hospital porters running next to my stretcher through what looked like a cage (on a return visit to the hospital I saw that this cage was in fact the COVID-19 screening centre), up into lifts and down passages all the while urgently assuring me, "We've got you, we've got you". Once again, I was terrified. In my confused state I thought I was being kidnapped.

"I cannot begin to imagine the extreme anxiety and stress they endured"

After two days, my husband received a call that I needed to be intubated and sedated so as not to fight the pipes that would be inserted down my throat and into my bronchi (the large tubes that carry air from your windpipe to your lungs).

COVID-19 pneumonia had set in.

While I slipped into oblivion, the nightmare for my family commenced. With no contact with me whatsoever, and only daily updates from the social worker (weekdays only) on my vitals for the day, I cannot begin to imagine the extreme anxiety and stress they endured.

"I was alive!"

Gradually waking up three weeks later in the non-COVID ICU and off the ventilator, I tried to make sense of where I was. I could see that there was a hive of activity around me but could barely move my head. I tried to speak but could not make a sound as my vocal cords were damaged from the pipes used to feed oxygen into my lungs.

Confused and unable to move or speak, I watched the world go by. My body was receiving nutrients through a pipe in my nose, my arms were full of drips and my legs were wrapped with devices assisting to promote the circulation of my blood. I would wait for the comforting contractions on my legs and try to count the continuous beeps of the machines. I was alive!

"Visits to ICU were in fact arranged for the family to say goodbye to me"

I turned my head to one side after 30 days in ICU to see a familiar and dearly loved face - that of my beautiful son Matthew, who had just turned 21! No visitors are allowed into the COVID-19 ICU due to the restrictions. I had also missed his birthday.

Gently holding my hand, he started singing softly to me ... one hymn after another, comforting me and building my courage. I don't know how my dear husband arranged the visit, but I was, and am, eternally grateful. It was a turning point.

I have subsequently become aware that visits to ICU were in fact arranged for the family to say goodbye to me. I was on the brink of death - but Matthew's visit was my catalyst to fight. Fight for my life.

Enduring terrible bouts of psychosis and debilitating nightmares

Moved into a private room and not understanding the severity of the COVID-19 complications that I had (COVID pneumonia, COVID encephalopathy, neuropathy and sepsis), I took my battle for life head on, as is my way.

Terrible bouts of psychosis and debilitating nightmares, too ghastly to describe, were the order of the day for close on a month. Looking back now, I understand that my experiences of delusion during this time were a result of the encephalopathy (swelling on the brain); they were not real. But at the time, they were intensely vivid and deeply frightening. Throughout this terrifying ordeal, I clutched a wooden cross and prayer beads Matthew had made and would get hysterical if I lost them in the bed sheets.

"All I knew was that I was not going to die"

I was not an easy patient; as the ward sister kindly phrased it, I was "non-compliant". All I knew was that I was not going to die and that I was going to fight everyone and everything with all my strength of mind and body to stay alive. In one of my bouts of madness I tried to escape and ended up with my legs dangling from the bottom of the bed.

"Where are you trying to go?" the nurses enquired. "You cannot stand and walk on your own? You will hurt yourself."

"I am not going to die here, I am going home, I will crawl home!" I replied emphatically. After gently being guided back onto the bed, I was restrained.

"Prove to me that I am alive"

How Julian managed to arrange visits to me I am not sure, but my family took turns sneaking in to see me and these daily visits kept me sane.

Waking up one morning I saw the blank TV screen above my bed and thought that I was inside it. I had been terminated and was now in a black box. The madness.

Julian had given me a basic cellphone with five icons on it - all I needed to do was press the icon and I could call him, my son, my mom, my sister and a close friend. Distraught, I called Julian. Wanting to be polite, however, I thanked him for terminating me and commiserated that it must have been a tough decision for him.

"But you are not dead, Dot," he insisted, "You are calling me."

"Well, if I am not dead now, I will be by this afternoon," I replied. The monsters in my head had clearly gotten to me. I quietly shrouded myself with a sheet and awaited my fate.

Hardly 20 minutes later, he walked into my room. Another turning point.

"Prove to me that I am alive," I demanded of him, "I don't believe you." He convinced me by gently pinching my arm. He had brought a pot plant with pink flowers, placing it where I could see it, and commanded me to look at the plant and verbalise a mantra to the plant every time I had a bad thought. "You are fighting the evil forces of COVID-19, Dot. Do not give into them; refuse these thoughts."

This became a mantra spoken over and over: "Bad thoughts, Julian says leave Dot alone!" It helped; I was alive!

Dot is discharged to be rehabilitated - "I was one of the lucky ones"

With the help of my brilliant doctors, an intense medicine regime and treatment and divine intervention, slowly the madness left me, my body and mind healed, and I was ready to be discharged. Not home but to rehab.

My body was weak; I could not stand by myself or walk. Stairs filled me with anxiety. I had short-term memory loss and was confused.

Three weeks of intense physical and cognitive rehabilitation ensued and finally I was declared fit for release home. Three long months of hospitalisation and rehabilitation. Learning how to get off a toilet - having been stuck and unable to help myself in a coffee shop loo - was a rude awakening! Until you cannot do it yourself you realise the small things in life that we all take for granted!

I was one of the lucky ones. Many of the friends I made in rehab had lost limbs - amputations below the knee due to blood clots, a horrid side effect of COVID-19. Such brave and courageous souls.

"If I can convince just one person to be vaccinated then opening my heart to you will have been worthwhile"

So why am I sharing my intensely private and intimate journey with you?

Going through such a traumatic experience and nearly losing one's life causes one to re-evaluate one's priorities and commitments, and this is indeed what I have been going through in the past weeks during my recovery. As a result, I have dedicated the process of finding my renewed purpose in life to all those who have tragically passed away from COVID-19, as well as to those who have fought and won the battle, and those who are still doing so.

In particular, if I can convince just one person to be vaccinated then opening my heart to you will have been worthwhile. I could not receive a vaccination in June 2021 as I was below the age threshold at the time. But believe me, on my first week home, I proudly walked into a local vaccination site to receive my vaccine. What a privilege!

"Thankfully now double vaccinated, I am working, driving and again leading a fulfilling life"

I embrace the life that God has given me. I treasure my husband. After 33 years of marriage, I love him more today than ever before. I value and protect my health. Thankfully now double vaccinated, I am working, driving and again leading a fulfilling life.

I have had the privilege of being a DHMS member for over 25 years and my medical bill was fully covered. For that and for the kindness and care extended to me by DHMS, I am truly grateful.

My heartfelt thanks to the specialists and nursing staff at Unitas Hospital, the therapists at Muelmed Rehab and my family and friends and the legions of people across the world who prayed for me. Above all I give thanks to God for giving me life.

About Dot Field

Dot Field is the founder of Dot Field Consulting. She is a fellow of the Institute of Directors South Africa, trustee of the Old Mutual Foundation, member of the ABC (advocacy, behaviour and communications) board committee of the GBVF Response Fund1 and past secretary and chair of the brand and reputation committee of the International Women's Forum South Africa (2019 - 2021).