Who needs Romania when you can remain here

Explore the many exquisite corners of South Africa that are accessible and picturesque with sights that will surprise and delight

It's well known that in parts of Europe people who speak French will completely ignore tourists... unless they are addressed in French. That year of French lessons in journalism school won't cut it either. You can "Je suis Sud-Africain, parler anglais s'il vous plait" as much as you like, and the response will still be a stonewall that makes the Buckingham Palace guards look animated. It's a culture thing.

So many of us dream of Italy, but did you know that many of the touristy cities have plumbing as old as the Colosseum, with a varying eau de sewer odour to match? It doesn't mean that Italy isn't beautiful, romantic or that the art and food aren't enchanting; just don't expect idyllic La Dolce Vita scenes. You're less likely to frolic in the Trevi Fountain than you are with the ten other tourists in your selfie. It doesn't matter which direction you go, postcards are exactly that - a capture of staged moments in time. Take Australia, naturally beautiful, cosmopolitan cities, but it becomes a furnace in summer, literally catching fire sporadically. Cork hats aren't an accessory for nothing. Those sticky flies are immune to repellent.

Travel should be fulfilling, and broaden our horizons. The issue, though, is that when we leave our home country to wherever we lust for in the world, we become a tourist. That in itself is a bad word in many places. Take Étretat, a town on the north coast of France known for aquamarine seas and striking rock formations carved out of its white cliffs. They're trying to limit the number of visitors, who have been flocking in thanks to influencers' Instagram posts. I don't blame them. The area is filthy with litter, hiking trails have been hollowed out from people stomping around, and up to 400kg of pebbles are carried away daily by tourists - two of whom died recently, after posing precariously on the cliffs.

Solution: sometimes we can choose to have a staycation. Explore the many exquisite corners of South Africa that are accessible and picturesque, with sights that will surprise and delight. You'll save on your carbon footprint, the rand won't be a bother, you'll avoid jet lag; and if you're so inclined, you can stage your Instagram photos to appear as if you're anywhere in the world. Filmmakers do it every day in South Africa - downtown Jozi streets have played New York in films; the Atlantis dunes could easily be North Africa or a desert in one of the emirates; and the Mpumalanga Highlands are a twin of Ireland without the need to walk through sheets of rain. In fact, the climate is lovely all year round.

So how about for part of the year, we skip the tourist traps of Santorini and settle on Langebaan? If you haven't worked out that this seaside town is modelled on the whitewashed hills of Greece, where have you been, actually? Similarly, parts of downtown Gqeberha (the city formerly known as Port Elizabeth) easily resemble Belgium, sans the stonewalling Francophones, but with lovely beach options. And I know this won't suit everyone, but some of us of a certain age would easily avoid the multi-day trip to Miami for a weekend on the Camps Bay strip. You're guaranteed that nobody will ignore you, you can try using any of the 11 national languages to order your cocktail, and even ask where the nearest bathroom is. .